There is a moment, often in between the noise, after the client call, during a long drive, in that quiet five minutes between one meeting ending and another beginning, when something flickers. And no, it not your brain resetting.
It is that fleeting, uncomfortable question that surfaces when the noise dies down:
“Why am I still doing it this way?”
You have done the thing. You have hit the milestone. You have earned the seat at the table.
But the question still hovers. You brush it off, habit, maybe. Efficiency. The way it is always worked.
But if you dig even slightly deeper, you will likely find an older engine still running the show. A belief that once helped you climb, but now quietly keeps you stuck.
And because definitions matter: I see a limiting belief as a once-useful assumption we have internalised about what we must do, or avoid doing, to succeed.
The challenge, if these beliefs go unexamined, is that they do not just stick around. They start to narrow your options more than they protect you.
That is the tricky thing about limiting beliefs. They do not show up looking like sabotage. They dress well. They sound like strength. They often wear the face of high standards, strategic thinking, or dependability, especially if you have been rewarded for them.
Beliefs like:
- I need to be across everything or it will fall apart.
- I have to prove myself in every room, no matter how many times I have been invited in.
- If I slow down, I will lose momentum, relevance, or my edge.
- I cannot get this wrong! Not at my level.
None of these are wild or obviously irrational. In fact, they have probably served you, right up until they did not.
I should know. I spent a career (and a bit) living by beliefs that got me where I needed to go. They worked, until I started working for myself. Then I realised many of the beliefs I had carefully built my success on? Were no longer needed. I have been on a mission since: to unpack them, untangle them, and reassess their usefulness. It has been a journey!
Smart people have limiting beliefs. Successful leaders have limiting beliefs.
This is not something you “grow out of” once you hit a certain title or position. In fact, the more responsibility you carry, the more subtly these beliefs operate, like an outdated operating system still running in the background. Shaping decisions. Influencing how you show up. Long after you have outgrown the version of yourself who needed them.
Because they worked.
Because they got you here.
Because they have become tangled up in your identity, your credibility, your leadership story.
Unpicking them can feel like yanking on a loose thread while trying to look polished under pressure.
So they stay.
And quietly, they start to write new rules:
- What you can and cannot do.
- What is “expected” of you.
- How you need to show up in a room, in a crisis, during a transition.
Left unexamined, these beliefs become invisible guardrails, narrowing your range as a leader.
Guardrails like:
- Don’t show emotion.
- Don’t ask for help.
- Don’t change tack too suddenly or people will lose trust.
- Don’t admit you’re tired.
- Don’t stop.
And without realising it, you are leading from a shrinking place, not an expansive one.
A place of preservation, not possibility.
Where the goal becomes managing perception, not driving transformation.
This does not happen overnight. It creeps in.
You tell yourself you are playing it safe. Being responsible. Being measured.
But underneath? It is often fear. Legacy habits. Or the weight of a leadership identity that is quietly outlived its usefulness.
And if we are honest, really honest, it is exhausting.
The boardroom version of limiting beliefs is not loud. It is subtle.
It is saying no to an unconventional candidate because you are “not sure they will land well with stakeholders.”
It is holding off on a bold strategic pivot because “we are not quite ready for that conversation yet.”
It is rewriting a paragraph in your head for two weeks before posting on LinkedIn because you are not sure how it will land, or what it will signal.
It is pushing through another intense quarter with a smile because you “should be able to handle this.” After all, look how far you have come.
And yes, it is sometimes gendered, but not only.
Some women carry an extra layer of inherited scripts about likeability, tone, strength, softness, assertiveness, visibility.
“Don’t be too much.”
“Don’t be too quiet.”
“Don’t be too confident.”
“Don’t slip.”
But this is NOT a women’s “issue”.
Male leaders carry their own quiet rules, about control, composure, competence. About always needing to have the answer. About never dropping the ball.
I have coached brilliant men and women who are visibly worn down from over-functioning, but who cannot see a way to do it differently without risking their credibility or identity.
This is not a “junior” problem. It is a leadership reality.
These beliefs do not disappear once you reach the top. In fact, they can get sneakier.
Because now there is more at stake.
Because people are watching.
Because everyone expects you to know. To be certain. To lead like you always have.
But what if the way you hae always led… is not what is needed anymore?
What if you havechanged?
What if your context has?
What if your beliefs, the ones still quietly running in the background, just have not caught up?
This month, I will be exploring what limiting beliefs look like at the executive level:
- How they quietly shape decisions, risk appetite, team culture, and innovation.
- How to spot them in yourself and your team, even when everything looks fine on the surface.
- And what becomes possible when you stop letting outdated beliefs do the driving.
Not because you or your team have done anything wrong. Far from it.
But because the next version of your leadership or team journey may not be reachable through the current lens you are using.
Sometimes the real unlock is not another strategy (although yes, get one if you do not have one). It is a subtle but powerful shift in what you believe you must do, or what you think you cannot possibly do.
So before we go further, I will leave you with this:
You have likely spent years learning how to lead.
What if the next step is not learning more, but unlearning what no longer fits?
Think about a recent decision that felt heavier than it should have.
What belief were you protecting?
What felt non-negotiable, even if no one said it out loud?
You do not need to overhaul anything today.
But naming the belief?
That is the first real shift.
What is driving you, and are you sure it still deserves the wheel?
And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.
Until next time.
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