There is a topic that I don’t see often in leadership blogs: self-trust.
Not “confidence,” exactly. Not “grit,” “executive presence,” or any of those other LinkedIn-scented words we toss around.
I mean the quieter, harder-earned thing underneath it all, the ability to trust your own judgement, even when things get messy. Or maybe especially when they get messy.
Sure, there is plenty of talk about trust generally, how we don’t trust leaders, politicians, governments, etc. But where is the talk about self-trust? And how to cultivate it, especially when we are just starting out as leaders?
The backbone of leadership
People often say leadership is about vision, communication, strategy, and sure, those are all part of it (and more). But if you do not trust yourself, none of those will land.
You will second-guess decisions, delay hard conversations, or over-rely on consensus until your team starts wondering who is actually steering the ship.
And no, you do not have to be a CEO or a senior leader or earned your stripes before you have it.
Because the thing is: if you cannot lead yourself, your team will feel it. And they will struggle to trust you, not because they are difficult or disloyal, but because trust is contagious. If yours in yourself is patchy, it creates a kind of echo. One that eventually reaches the people around you.
Signs you might be low on self-trust
Self-trust is not checkbox you tick. It is something you feel, or don’t, in the moment. This is deeply personal, but here are a few universal signs I see often:
- You hesitate to make decisions unless someone else agrees with you first.
- You find yourself re-reading that one email seven times before hitting send.
- You second-guess your instincts, especially in a room full of louder voices.
- You change direction midstream, not because it is strategic, but because you are unsure.
We have all been there. The question is not whether you have ever doubted yourself , we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t, but what you do when you notice it.
How to build self-trust
You do not need to meditate on a mountain (though I would recommend it), or start referring to yourself in the third person (can be highly therapeutic). But here are a few grounded, practical things you can do:
Reflect on past wins
Not the flashy ones (although they are lovely), but the real ones. The tricky decisions you made that turned out alright. The times you trusted your gut and it worked. Keep a short list. Read it when the noise gets loud.
Set clear personal standards
This is different from “what is expected of me” or job description. Ask yourself: What do I expect of myself as a leader? What is non-negotiable for me? Clarity here builds stability, especially when you are under pressure. Make it part of your identity and practice it.
Honour your decisions (even when they are uncomfortable)
The goal is not to always be right. It is to own your call, learn from it, and move forward without spiralling into doubt. Give your decisions room to breathe before you abandon them.
Stop apologising for having authority
You are not a dictator for making a call. You are a leader doing your job. You can be clear and kind at the same time. (In fact, it works better that way.)
Talk to someone who reminds you of who you are
Every leader needs one person who is not dazzled or afraid of them. Someone who says, “You have done harder things than this.” Find that person. Keep them close.
Self-trust is not ego. It is not about being the loudest or the most certain.
It is about being grounded enough to say: I may not know everything, but I know who I am, and I trust myself to figure it out.
When you lead from that place, even quietly, people notice. They get curious. They lean in. They relax a little. And they begin to trust you, because they can feel that you trust yourself.
Yes, actions speak louder than words, but there is something deeper at play: what you believe about yourself subtly shows up in how you lead. What is internal becomes external, and people can feel it.
And perhaps most importantly, you trust yourself, which is exactly where the real work of leadership begins.
And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.
Until next time.
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