Last week, I wrote about the outdated beliefs that quietly run in the background, long after we have outgrown them.
This week, I want to slow down and explore how those beliefs feel in the quiet in-between moments.
This is not circling the drain on the same topic. It is taking the time to get beneath the surface, to see what might be feeding the inner dissonance, the quiet friction.
Ask most senior leaders if they are afraid to fail, and you will likely hear a confident “No.”
They did not get to where they are by playing small. Far from it.
But spend enough time in boardrooms, behind closed doors in strategy sessions, or inside executive coaching conversations, and a different picture emerges, one where fear of failure, of judgment, or of irrelevance quietly shapes decisions.
Not through dramatic meltdowns or obvious hesitation.
Nope. Through subtle signals: the delayed initiative, the over-polished presentation, the reluctance to delegate.
This is how limiting beliefs show up at the top. Not as obvious obstacles, but as internal narratives so normalised, they masquerade as wisdom. And they come with a cost: to the leader, the team, and the business.
The hidden tax of playing it safe
Limiting beliefs do not announce themselves. They sneak in under the radar, dressed as logic. As rational thought. Something like:
- “We need more data before we decide.”
- “Let’s keep this under wraps until it’s fully thought through.”
- “It’s safer to stick to what has worked before.”
And sure, sometimes these are wise calls. Who doesn’t want more data? But…for the most part, they are not strategic questions or directions. They are really about fear.
Fear of being wrong. Fear of being judged. Fear of failing in a way that confirms the worst thing a leader might believe about themselves: I am not good enough. I am not meant to be here. I have to prove myself; always.
And yes, not many leaders are walking around consciously thinking these thoughts. But they are there and they are running the show. They show up in micro-moments and in micro-decisions. And if these beliefs are left unchecked, they start taxing your leadership in quiet, compounding ways. How you may ask?
Here are some ways I have seen and frankly, experienced.
1. Reduced agility
Leaders with unexamined beliefs like “I must get it right the first time” tend to delay action until conditions feel perfect. But in fast-moving environments, perfection is NOT a strength. Innovation requires a certain tolerance for mess and missteps. A limiting belief around failure can make even the smartest leader slow to move, slow to pivot, and slow to trust that “good enough for now” can be the right choice.
2. Low-risk decisions disguised as “strategy”
Sometimes, a team sticks to familiar approaches not because they are the best, but because they are the safest. Beliefs like “We can’t afford to make a wrong call” can quietly flatten creativity. Leaders begin over-indexing on what they know will work, rather than what could work better. The result? A culture of incrementalism that stalls growth and slowly saps momentum.
3. Tense team dynamics
Leaders who believe “I must carry the load” or “It is weak to ask for help” tend to hold too much. They do not delegate, not because they do not trust their team (although I will contend there is always an element of lack of trust), but ultimately, it is because they fear what failure would reflect about them. This creates over-responsibility at the top, and under-development below.
Teams feel boxed out, underused, or like they are always trying to “guess the right answer” instead of contributing meaningfully. Not a good place to be for any team. Or leader for that matter.
4. Perfection over progress
Limiting beliefs often turn perfectionism into a virtue. Ultimatley thought it is a productivity trap. Work gets over-edited. Communications get delayed. Feedback loops become longer and less honest. And the cost is missed learning and lost time.
When leaders model perfectionism, teams learn to hide mistakes rather than solve them. They learn to polish before they test. And over time, this erodes innovation and psychological safety.
The pressure multiplier: identity, visibility, and the fear of being “too much”
For women, people of colour, and other underrepresented leaders, limiting beliefs are not just internal; they are compounded by the external. The unspoken rules are different. The margin for error is narrower. And so the belief that “I can’t afford to get this wrong” is not imagined; it is reinforced by lived experience.
This pressure to over-perform, over-function, and over-prepare is not about ego. It is about survival in systems that have not always welcomed difference. And while awareness of this is growing, the internalised impact remains:
- A leader who hesitates to speak up unless she is sure it is airtight.
- A manager who avoids pushing for a promotion because she does not want to be seen as “ambitious in the wrong way.”
- A founder who second-guesses every pivot, fearing it will confirm what others already expect; that is she is not ready, not serious, not seasoned enough.
In these moments, limiting beliefs are NOT small. They shape entire careers.
It is not about confidence: it is about the script running the show
The most frustrating part? Regardless of gender, regardless of ethnicity, these amazing leaders are often confident. Brilliant. Respected. It is not that they do not believe in themselves. It is that, somewhere underneath the success, a script is still playing out:
- “If I slow down, I’ll lose momentum.”
- “If I speak too plainly, I won’t sound smart.”
- “If I say no, they’ll stop trusting me.”
And because they are successful, no one questions it. The behaviour gets rewarded. The belief gets reinforced. The cost remains invisible.
But over time, these beliefs become the silent ceiling, not imposed by the system, but internalised from it. That ceiling may be higher than it once was. But it is still there.
The courage to lead differently
So what does it look like to lead without these beliefs? Not recklessly. Not without discernment. But from a place of genuine clarity and self-trust?
It looks like this:
- Saying “I don’t know yet; let us test it” instead of pretending certainty.
- Delegating even the high-stakes work, because trust is stronger than control.
- Speaking plainly, without the need to sound polished or perfect.
- Changing direction, not because you failed, but because you learned.
These aren not small shifts by any means. They are deep ones. And they start by noticing the cost of leading from fear, even when it is dressed in strategy.
A thought to leave you with
Leadership comes with pressure. But when that pressure is shaped by limiting beliefs, it becomes distortion. It warps how decisions are made, how teams function, and how possibilities are perceived.
The good news? You do not need to bulldoze these beliefs. You just need to get curious about them.
To ask: What am I afraid might happen if I don’t hold onto this belief?
And then: What might happen if I let it go?
In the next addition of this series, I want to get underneath how to spot these beliefs, in yourself, and in the people you lead. Because awareness is not a luxury for leaders. It is a responsibility.
And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.
Until next time.
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