Years ago, I had a manager who was, in many ways, a walking case study in what not to do. Micromanaged every task. Avoided difficult conversations. Prioritised image over outcomes. And as someone watching this unfold from the inside, I made a decision, not consciously at first, but consistently over time: I would do the opposite.
If they avoided feedback, I leaned into it.
If they withheld information, I shared openly.
If they led with control, I tried trust.
It was not a strategy at the time, at least not deliberately. But looking back, that mindset became a defining part of how I led then and how I work today.
Doing the opposite is NOT about being a contrarian for the sake of it. It is about being intentional. It is about seeing what IS NOT working around you and choosing differently. Especially when you are new to the CEO seat or stepping into a new leadership role, this mindset can be a very useful anchor.
I want to share why I think this matters and how you might want to apply it.
Why “doing the opposite” works
In leadership, we are often taught to model others, observe what successful leaders do and replicate it. But what if your reference points are flawed? What if the culture you walked into rewards noise, speed, and hierarchy, but your instincts say: slow down, stay quiet, connect?
That is where doing the opposite becomes a powerful mindset tool.
It forces clarity.
It pushes you to reflect.
It helps you lead on purpose and not by default.
When everyone is reacting, doing the opposite helps you pause.
When others are defending turf, it reminds you to collaborate.
When there is a race to appear perfect, it allows you to be real.
I know this might sound a bit “easier said than done”. No one wants to be “different”. We want to fit in with our peers and colleagues. But here is the catch: if you want to be a leader, you need to embrace being different when IT NO LONGER SERVES you, the organisation or the mission you are embarking on.
Three ways this showed up for me in practice
I want to make this as real for you as possible based on my experience. See how it might resonate for you. And maybe right now it is not a mindset you need, but keep it in mind when you have tried everything and it is still not working out.
Where others hoarded information, I shared it freely
I noticed early on that many leaders thought control meant having exclusive access to information. They would drip-feed updates, filter communications, and make decisions in small rooms.
So I did the opposite. I over-communicated. I made decisions visible. I looped in people who were not traditionally included. Not to tick a transparency box, but because I genuinely believed people make better decisions when they know what is going on.
Where others created confusion, I created clarity
One of the most common leadership missteps I have seen? Fuzzy goals dressed up as ambition. Lots of noise, little direction.
So again, I chose the opposite: fewer goals, sharper focus, clear definitions of success. I would ask “what are we really trying to do here?” and “who are we doing it for?”. I think one of the most telling things about dysfunctional organisations is when they forget who makes things happen (their people) and who pays the bills (the clients). So be clear with yourself and your team on what matters.
Where others avoided conflict, I leaned in early
Avoidance is common in ineffective leadership. No one wants to be the person who makes it awkward. I don’t relish it and I certainly don’t look for it. But unresolved tension spreads. Someone has to put the “big pants on” as a colleague of mine would say and you are it.
I learned that early conversations, even when imperfect, almost always led to better outcomes. I would rather have a short, slightly uncomfortable exchange now than a month of misalignment later. And I learned this the hard way. Leaving situations to fester become way more difficult to resolve. Better to hit it on the head early. Start with “I am seeing this…” Read this article if you need a refresher.
What “doing the opposite” looks like in today’s leadership environment
If you are leading in today’s messy, unpredictable, hybrid, short-attention-span world, here’s where this mindset can serve you best:
Instead of micromanaging, coach.
When anxiety is high, many leaders tighten the reins. But trust is far more productive than control. Ask questions. Offer support. Get curious, not prescriptive. It builds capacity, not dependence. I think all leaders need to learn coaching and I am ever grateful to IBM for teaching me this skill early in my career.
Instead of reacting, observe first.
You do not have to jump into every fire. Great leaders listen longer than they speak. They read the room before they rewrite the plan. Build in space to respond, not just react.
Instead of putting on a brave face, be real.
We have all been taught to “project confidence.” But your team does not need a performance. They need your presence. Your ability to say, “I don’t know, but here’s how we will figure it out,” is far more powerful than pretending to have the answers.
Instead of protecting your turf, invite others in.
Collaboration is not a buzzword; it is a strategy. Power hoarding is outdated. Bring people into decisions. It builds momentum and surfaces better ideas than any single leader can come up with alone.
Practical tips to apply the “Do the Opposite” mindset
So hopefully by now, your mind is buzzing with how you can apply this in your own leadership journey. If you need more ideas on how to build this into your leadership toolkit, here are some more for you.
Spot the default behaviour first.
Pay attention to what most people are doing in times of stress. Are they silent? Panicked? Defensive? That’s your cue.
Pause before you follow.
Just because something’s common doesn’t make it right. Before you act, ask: Is this what my team needs from me, or just what I’m used to seeing others do?
Choose a conscious opposite.
This is not about rebelling for fun. It is about doing what works better. If the energy is rushed, you bring calm. If the culture is transactional, you model connection. Make it a choice, not a reflex.
Model it visibly.
Teams mirror what they see. If you are open, grounded, and honest, they will follow. Show them it is safe to lead differently.
Debrief with yourself.
Reflect on what worked and what did not. This mindset is not about being right all the time. It is about being intentional, learning, and adjusting.
You are not here to copy the room
Leadership is not mimicry. It is not about being louder than the chaos or faster than the fear. It is about cutting through with clarity. And sometimes, the sharpest way to do that… is to do the exact opposite of what the world expects. Not to be contrary and not to be “different” for the sake of it.
Be intentional. Be specific. Be actionable.
So if you are watching leaders around you spiral, shrink, posture, or play safe, consider doing something else entirely.
Lead with trust.
Speak with honesty.
Decide with calm.
And most importantly, act with intention.
That IS the mindset that stands out.
And that IS the kind of leadership people remember.
And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.
Until next time.
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