This week is International Coaching Week (May 8-14), and it got me thinking about the benefits of coaching, and why I love coaching both as a receiver and a provider. When I joined IBM almost 24 years ago, coaching was emerging as a requirement for managers, and IBM invested significantly in teaching managers coaching skills. This included techniques and embedding coaching as a behaviour and a way of thinking. I was a beneficiary of IBM’s investment, and I loved it.
Over the years, I have strived to ensure coaching is part of my skillset, mindset and leadership style. I didn’t always get it right, but whenever I lost my way, I would return to coaching and find my way again. This is not me in an echo chamber, but based on feedback from people I worked with. I got much better results when I used coaching as my dominant style. Overall, I was more productive, communicated better, and was happier as a leader.
I have had many coaches
Some coaches I paid for, and others were paid for by the companies I worked at. Today I have my own coach because a coach without a coach is like a doctor without a doctor. Everyone can benefit from a coach, even a coach.
All the coaches I have had (and still do) have tremendously impacted my life. They came when I needed what Marcia Reynolds, a prominent international coach, calls a “thinking partner”. Someone who can be objective, challenge my assumptions and work with me on my thinking without judgement and with open curiosity about what might be going on for me. I always thought I would become a coach and do it full-time.
Fast forward to 2023, and that is what I do today. Amazing people invite me to be their thinking partner and coach. They invite me into their lives, their thinking and their gnarly challenges. Whether leadership and career or working through the human conditions we all experience daily. The objective is the same: an invitation to work together to mine for the gold in them so that they can be the best version of themselves, for themselves.
So what are some of the benefits of coaching? Here are some of the reasons why I love coaching, and what it has done for me.
A coach can help you to learn self-reliance
Many times during my leadership journey, I felt alone. Some challenges are not really “best shared”. As a leader, I faced situations that were not always appropriate to discuss with upper management, my team and my colleagues. A coach is a neutral person that is most often removed from the situation, gives me that 5000-foot perspective, and helps me challenge my assumptions and the frames I bring to a problem. The best coaches look at my attitudes and perspectives, not just the problems. This has been invaluable as it taught me to understand myself better and be more aware of what might be going on to better deal with the next situation I face. Learning self-reliance is one of the clear benefits of the coaching process.
A coach comes to the conversation with open curiosity and without judgement
The coach is not invested in whether an idea works or whether a particular decision is right or wrong for me – those are my choices. Instead, the coach is invested in ensuring I evaluate what is coming up for me and help me make sense of what might be going on to enable me to make the best decision. This is underestimated today, where you can search for almost anything and get a how-to video or article for the answer. And now ChatGPT (you know it was coming) can also write it up for you. However, knowing an answer is not the same as knowing the answer that is right for me.
A coach provides you with accountability
Sometimes stuff happens, and I get lost. This is not about using my coach as my calendar reminder but as a person that can gently remind me to challenge myself on my wants and needs. For example, if I said that I wanted to be balanced in my life and session after session, I show up unbalanced; I want my coach to hold me up on that and ask me what is preventing me from achieving my objective and course correct accordingly. I want to have enough signals early on to adjust, not when the show is over, and I am burnout and exhausted.
The coach mirrors what shows up for me with curiosity and says, hey, Hala, what is going on here? What you are saying and doing doesn’t seem to be adding up. So the accountability partner I need is a coach who helps me get back on track or might even help me realise that a particular track no longer works and I need something different before I derail.
Adopting a coaching style as a leader has also helped me to be a better leader
While a coaching style and being an actual coach are slightly different things, at the core of it, it is about people. It is about putting another human being at the centre of the conversation, giving space, and allowing air to circulate so they can come to their conclusions on what needs to happen. As a manager and a leader, you sometimes have to use different styles to achieve business outcomes. My experience is that whenever I used coaching as a style, I got better results, more transparent communication and effective relationships. And my team and colleagues were happier dealing with me in that style. Always a bonus in matrixed organisations!
Being a coach means being of service to others
Lastly, and this is a takeaway that I get from being a coach: that of being of service. Being of service is a core philosophical view that I have. I cannot think of a better way of being of service than being with another human being working through the best way forward when things are confusing and the situation seems insurmountable. To know that I can be of service to people who are brilliant at what they do but, like all of us, can sometimes become confused, unclear, lost and unsure and need a thinking partner to sit with them. It is a privilege that I never will take for granted. Because sitting in our humanity together makes it all worthwhile, gives me purpose, and fulfils my mission to have a positive impact.
Final thoughts
Coaching has come a long way in the past 25 years, and I know it will continue to evolve. I think it’s one of the most amazing professions one can have, and the rewards are unfathomable. If you have never experienced coaching or want to know more, this is the week to check it out. The International Coaching Federation (of which I am a member) has many events, many for free. Or reach out to a coach near you.
Even if you don’t want to be a coach or work with a coach, learning the fundamentals of coaching will serve you well in a world that is continually changing and testing our humanity as leaders.
With that, I would like to thank all the coaches I have had over a 30-year career who came without judgement, taught me a lot about the human condition and showed me that there are many ways of being of service through coaching. You are a gift.
And as always, I would like to thank all those who opened their hearts and minds and invited me to be their thinking partner on their leadership journey. It’s a privilege and an honour to sit beside you.
Until next time.
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