This week, I wanted to delve into what conflict can teach us about ourselves as leaders, exploring how challenges unveil our character, decision-making capabilities, and resilience.
In the dynamic landscape of organisational life, conflicts are not just inevitable obstacles to be overcome. They are empowering opportunities that serve a positive and powerful purpose: they are mirrors reflecting our leadership strengths, weaknesses, and potential for growth.
Defining conflicts as a leader
For clarity, I think of conflicts in the leadership context as the inevitable challenges and disagreements that arise within organisations in the ordinary course of engagement. Conflict in this context does not mean bullying, harassment or violence. Those are illegal and have a different process to follow.
For leaders, conflicts are not merely disruptions; they are opportunities for self-discovery and growth. As leaders, our responses to conflicts reveal much about our emotional intelligence, communication skills, and adaptability. Embracing conflicts as a natural part of leadership allows us to learn from them rather than endure them. While I am not advocating that we go looking for conflict as leaders, I am advocating that we do not shy away from them and step into them with purpose and an open, can-do mindset.
So, what are the lessons that conflict can teach us? The following are based on my experience and what I have learned, so feel free to add your thoughts in the comments.
Emotional intelligence
Conflict often stirs emotions, ranging from frustration and anger to disappointment and fear. How leaders navigate and manage these emotions can determine the outcome of a conflict. Emotional intelligence, encompassing self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills, becomes paramount. Not only does a leader need to have strong self-awareness to recognise their emotional responses, but they must also have empathy to understand the emotions and perspectives of others. Maintaining professionalism and making rational decisions during a conflict would be nearly impossible if a leader does not have self-regulation. So, conflict can teach us where our strengths might be and where we need some extra work in our emotional intelligence makeup.
Communication as a bridge, not a barrier
Effective communication is the lifeblood of leadership, especially during conflicts where diplomacy and tact might be highly needed! How leaders convey their thoughts, listen to others, and foster open dialogue shapes the trajectory of conflict resolution. Conflicts serve as a litmus test for our communication skills, revealing whether we can articulate our perspectives clearly, empathise with others, and facilitate productive discussions. This one is key, and I am always in awe of leaders who have this down pat.
Decision-making under pressure
Conflicts often demand swift and well-informed decision-making. Leaders must assess the situation, weigh alternative courses of action, and make choices that align with the organisation’s values. Conflicts unveil our decision-making processes, shedding light on our ability to remain calm under pressure, think strategically, and make tough choices for the greater good. Or not. Either way, we learn quickly what might be missing in our kitbag and what we need to quickly learn. The ability to hold space, ascertain the facts, and look for evidence when conflict is high is a true sign of a transformational leader.
Resilience in the face of adversity
Leadership is not defined by the absence of challenges but by the ability to bounce back from them. Conflicts allow leaders to demonstrate resilience, showing their teams that setbacks are not roadblocks but stepping stones toward success. Yes, it is hard. Leaders are human, and mistakes happen. But how leaders weather storms and guide their teams through adversity shapes the organisational culture and sets the tone for future challenges. Conflicts can also show leaders where they might need more support and additional capacity to bounce back.
Final thoughts
So, dear leader, remember that conflicts are not detours on the leadership path (as tricky as some might be) but are integral milestones that shape our leadership journey. They show us our boundaries, where our strengths lie and where we might need extra help. Conflicts also show us what works for us and what doesn’t and can help determine what type of leader we want to be.
By embracing conflicts as opportunities for self-reflection and growth, leaders can tap into the positive and affirmative power that comes out of conflict. Emotional intelligence, effective communication, decision-making prowess, and resilience are all honed in the crucible of conflict. Realising that conflicts are inevitable and essential for leadership development allows us to navigate them gracefully. As leaders, let us not fear conflicts but embrace them as catalysts for personal and organisational growth and development.
What lessons have you learned as a leader from working through conflicts?
And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.
Until next time.
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