Overworked, overwhelmed, and over it? Rethink your boundaries

March has been the month of boundaries—for me at least, and, it seems, for a lot of leaders struggling to set them without guilt. Last week’s article resonated with so many of you, and the feedback was clear: leaders are struggling with setting boundaries and feeling authentic in this process.

So, as we wrap up the month, I wanted to take the conversation that started last week one step further.

And to do that, I want to share with you what setting boundaries looks like as a leader, not in theory. In practice, and from what I see with many leaders I partner with.

The case for boundaries: an example

Meet Sarah*. She is an executive known for getting things done. If there is a client crisis or a deal gone wrong, Sarah is the person to call. If there is an urgent meeting, Sarah makes it happen. If someone needs last-minute approvals or help with a proposal, Sarah clears her schedule. On paper, she was thriving. In reality? She was exhausted.

Sound familiar?

When we first started working together, despite all the evidence she was sharing, Sarah resisted the idea that boundaries were a problem for her. “This is just how leadership works,” she said. “You have to be available.”  “Isn’t it about being responsive?” she would lament.

But as we dug deeper, she began to see the patterns. How her calendar had become a free-for-all, how saying yes to everything meant saying no to herself. The exhaustion, the resentment, and the feeling of being stretched too thin were NOT just unavoidable side effects of leadership. They were signals. Signals that something needed to change. And to be blunt, she had simply had enough!

So, Sarah made some small but significant shifts:

• She blocked focus time in her calendar and actually protected it. And she told her team.
• She redefined what “urgent” really meant for her. And she told her team.
• She stopped solving every problem herself and gave her team more autonomy. And she told her team.
• She let go of the guilt that came with saying no. (And she didn’t tell her team 😊).

It was not easy. Years of over-functioning do not disappear overnight. But the results were undeniable. Meetings became more purposeful. Her team stepped up. And, for the first time in years, Sarah felt like she could breathe.

The best part? She became a better leader. More strategic. More focused. More present. She became more available mentally for the other commitments she needed to take care of– like kids and a languishing home renovation project! And best of all, people respected her more, not less.

How to make boundaries work for you

There is a big caveat. If not having boundaries is working just dandy for you, please, by all means, carry on as you were—well done. But if it is NOT working for you, then press on.

Now, we know that boundaries look different for everyone. What worked for Sarah might not work for you. But if you are feeling stretched too thin, here is a thought process to help you get started:

Decide that you are done

The first step is not about time management (read here on my views on this) or saying no. It is actually about mindset. You have to decide that you are done with the constant overwhelm. Done with feeling like every second of your day belongs to someone else. Done with the belief that leadership equals availability at all costs. This is not about tweaking your schedule (although that helps); it is about making a fundamental decision that your energy, focus, and well-being matter. Once you decide this, everything else follows.

Notice the patterns and audit your commitments

What is draining your time and energy? Is it back-to-back meetings? Constant interruptions? The expectation that you will always be available. Take a hard look at where your time is going. What meetings, tasks, or responsibilities are genuinely essential? Which ones have you taken on out of habit, obligation, or a fear of letting others down? Clarity starts with visibility. If you don’t know where your time is going, you cannot reclaim it.

Decide what needs your attention

Not everything is urgent, and not everything needs you. Set clear criteria for what actually requires your immediate attention versus what can wait, be delegated, or even ignored. If you are doing work someone else could (or needs) to handle, that is a sign. You have a hiring problem, not a time problem. 

Protect your focus time

This falls back on the mindset discussed previously. Sure, block out time for deep work, strategic thinking, and even rest. And then, the hard part: honour it. If you do not respect your time, no one else will.

Make one small shift

It is so tempting to want to throw everything out and start again. I just don’t think that is useful or helpful. Best to start with one adjustment. Maybe it is blocking focus time. Maybe it is setting clearer expectations with your team. Maybe it is simply pausing before saying yes to everything. The goal is not a complete overhaul overnight—it is progress.

Measure the Impact

After a couple of weeks, check in with yourself. Are you feeling less overwhelmed? Are you more productive? Are people adjusting to your new boundaries? Most leaders find that the world keeps turning – shocker. But more importantly, they are more effective. And just that tad happier.

Then take the next thing and tweak that. Rinse and repeat.

I know you know this, but it bears repeating. Leadership is NOT about being available 24/7. No one wants a martyr or a slave to the work (okay, some places do, but hopefully, you are not working there!). It is about knowing where you add the most value—and having the discipline to protect that space. For your own mental health and for those around you.

So as we move on towards the end of March, here is a question for you: Where could you set even one small boundary to create more space for what actually matters?

Let me know what resonates with you. I would love to hear your thoughts.

And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.

Until next time.

*Not her real name