It often starts innocently enough.
A promotion. A bigger title. A new mandate. And with it, the quiet weight of expectation that you “should” now have all the answers. Know what to do. Say the right thing. Predict the future. Show up flawless.
I see it in the eyes of the executives I partner with. I have been there myself.
The moment they step into bigger roles, many begin to feel they must trade in their humanity for certainty, their curiosity for clarity, their vulnerability for control. Suddenly, leadership becomes a performance. A tightrope act of appearing confident without a trace of hesitation.
Reality is far from this. The most effective leaders I know are not perfect. They are not superhuman. They are deeply human. What makes them powerful is not their polish, but their presence. Not their perfection, but their ability to move forward even when the path ahead is unclear.
This week, I want to challenge an idea that quietly erodes leadership potential: the belief that confidence comes from being perfect.
It doesn’t.
It comes from something else entirely.
The perfection trap
Perfectionism is a seductive and exhausting trap.
It tells you that leadership is about getting it all right. That your value is measured by how few mistakes you make, how clever your strategies sound, or how composed you look under pressure. It whispers, “You should know better. You should do better. You should be better.” (If you hear this voice and it is using “shoulds”, be on guard. It is a telling sign.)
So here is what makes it even trickier; it is socially rewarded. People admire the buttoned-up leader, the one who never seems to falter. But what they do not see is what that pursuit of perfection often costs: indecision, disconnection, and an overwhelming fear of getting it wrong.
Perfectionism creates leaders who delay action, avoid risk, and second-guess their instincts. It creates teams that wait for permission rather than take initiative. And in today’s fast-moving, unpredictable, messy world, that kind of leadership is not just unsustainable; it is ineffective.
The alternative: confidence rooted in humanity
What if we stop trying to lead perfectly, and start leading honestly?
Confidence, real confidence, is not about certainty. It is about steadiness. It is about action.
It is the quiet courage to show up, listen deeply, admit what you don’t know, and make thoughtful decisions anyway. It is about trusting your capacity to figure things out, even when you don’t yet have all the pieces.
This kind of confidence invites others in. It creates a leadership culture where questions are welcome, mistakes are examined, not punished, and people feel psychologically safe to contribute.
It might sound simple, but this shift, from performing to participating, from controlling to connecting, is critical.
What imperfect action looks like
You might be wondering, Okay, but what does this look like in practice?
Let me give you some real examples from the leaders I partner with:
- A CEO I work with recently changed how she runs her leadership meetings. Instead of coming in with a tightly rehearsed deck and predetermined answers, she now opens with, Here’s what I’m wrestling with this week. Let’s unpack it together. The result? More engagement. More creativity. More ownership across her team. And a way more authentic leadership style for her.
- A sales director shared with me that he was constantly editing his team’s client proposals, trying to “fix” them before they went out. It was taking time, causing friction, and disempowering his people. We worked together on the mindset of “done is better than perfect.” He stopped polishing every detail and started asking his team to own their work, set clear standards for themselves and own their learning. The proposals were not always “perfect”, but they were getting out faster to clients who wanted responsiveness. And the team was growing in capability and confidence.
Imperfect action is not sloppy. It is deliberate. It is bold. And it creates momentum.
Leading in uncertainty
We all can see that we have been leading in uncertain times for quite some time now, and it is unlikely to get any different anytime soon.
We are navigating new business models, shifting markets, and evolving expectations of work. Despite what many might say, there is no manual for this. Yet many leaders still cling to the illusion that they must provide certainty.
But what teams really need is not certainty. It is clarity of intent. They need to know what matters, what they are aiming for, and what’s true right now.
Leaders who acknowledge uncertainty without panic—who say, Here’s what we know, here’s what we’re trying, and here’s how we can adapt—build trust. Because they are NOT pretending. They are modelling how to lead through ambiguity, which is arguably the most important skill of our current times.
Confidence is contagious
There is a beautiful side effect to leading with confidence over perfection: it gives others permission to do the same.
When leaders speak with honesty, take thoughtful risks, and recover from missteps with grace, they create a culture where people feel safe to contribute. Safe to try. Safe to say, I don’t know yet, but I’ll figure it out.
That kind of environment fosters innovation, resilience, and real growth.
Your team is watching, not for you to be flawless, but for you to be real. For you to be steady. For you to be human.
Practical ways to lead with confidence, not perfection
So how do you start shifting this mindset?
Here are a few things I share with the leaders I partner with:
Start naming what you don’t know
It’s a powerful act to say, I don’t have the answer to that yet, but I’m working on it. It models curiosity and signals that not knowing is not a weakness; it is an invitation to learn.
Choose momentum
Ask yourself: What is the smallest next step I can take? It doesn’t have to be the perfect solution. Just something that moves you forward. Action clarifies. Waiting for perfection only delays insight.
Tell the truth, even when it is incomplete
You don’t need to share everything. But you do need to be transparent about what is happening. People respect a leader who levels with them. Here’s where we are. Here’s what’s still unfolding. Here’s how I’m thinking about it.
Create space for others to contribute
Stop being the only one with answers. Start being the one who asks better questions. Invite your team to shape the path with you. It is how you build ownership, capability, and trust.
Reflect on the “enoughness” of the day
At the end of each day, ask yourself: What did I move forward today? What did I handle with care? Where did I show up with presence? And be content with it being enough for the day.
Perfection will always find what is missing. Confidence notices what is working.
Here is the one thing I want you to remember: Leadership is more than a title. You are allowed to walk it as a whole person. You do not have to be perfect to be effective. You do not have to have all the answers to be respected. You do not have to carry it all alone to be worthy of your role.
Confidence comes from knowing who you are, how you lead, and what you care about. It grows each time you take action without knowing exactly how it will turn out and trusting your future self to handle it.
So this week, lead with your full self. The parts that are wise, and the parts that are still learning. The parts that are bold, and the parts that are still building courage.
Lead with confidence, not because you are perfect, but because you are present.
And that, in the end, is more than enough.
And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.
Until next time.
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