How to lead in workplace conflicts

Conflict in the workplace is something we all will encounter at some point in our careers. It is unavoidable when people work together. Conflict can be a source of stress and tension, whether in disagreement over how a project should be handled or a clash of personalities. I don’t know of any conflict-free workplace. The difference is whether conflict is openly discussed and resolved or hidden and ignored. If appropriately handled, conflict is an opportunity for growth, better understanding, and stronger relationships. So today, I wanted to share my perspective and experience on how to work through conflict in the workplace in a way that fosters positive outcomes.

First things first. To effectively manage conflict, I think it is essential to understand the different types of workplace-related conflict that can arise. Based on research and my experience, conflicts fall into the following three broad categories.

• Task conflict occurs when there are disagreements about the content and goals of the work. It is about the “WHAT” of the task. For example, team members might have different ideas on the best way to complete a task as they approach it from different perspectives. The focus is the task.
• Process conflict occurs when disputes arise over the logistics or methods of task completion, such as policies, roles, responsibilities, and resource allocation. It mainly concerns people’s approaches to the “HOW” of addressing the task.
• Relationship conflict occurs from personal differences, including clashes in personality, values, or emotional incompatibility. This is one of the most challenging to address because it involves personal feelings and may require deeper resolution strategies and involvement from others (think manager, supervisor, human resources, or meditator).

If you find yourself in the middle of a conflict in the workplace, I think it is helpful to pause and think about what type of conflict it is. See if it fits into one of the above categories. If not, try to get to the root cause of the conflict, at least for yourself, so that you can understand and work through strategies for the best way forward.

Some people are interested in why conflicts occur in the workplace. I think it is a good question, but it can never be fully answered. Bring diverse people together in any environment, and sooner or later, some sort of conflict will occur. It is part of the human condition. So, it is best to know that conflict will occur and work through a plan.

Anyway, for those interested in why conflict occurs, think about your own experience. Here are some reasons I have seen that lead to conflict:   

• Poor communication: Misunderstandings, lack of information, ambiguous instructions, and lack of clarity.
• Differing self-interests: When individuals or teams have competing priorities or goals.
• Resource constraints: Limited resources like time, money, or personnel.
• Personality differences: Variations in working styles, values, and personalities.
• Structural factors: Organisational hierarchy and role ambiguity can create power struggles and misunderstandings. And yes, this includes politics and office dynamics.

Okay, so now that we know about the three types of conflicts and some of the reasons why they might occur, what could be some strategies for managing workplace conflicts as a leader?

First, be open and honest with yourself that conflict will occur. So, one of the best ways to manage conflict is to address it early before it escalates.

Here’s how:

• Take a proactive approach: Be vigilant in identifying potential conflicts early on and address them promptly. It is easier said than done for many of us. Who wants to be that person? However, as leaders, our role is to identify potential issues, call them out, and work through them. 
• Organise conflict resolution training:  I have always thought it strange that workplaces did not offer more of this type of training. Makes sense that people coming together from different backgrounds, experiences, and knowledge might need new schematics for resolving conflict. And what better way than having the same language and methods as your colleagues? It is actually quite powerful. If training is not available, read a book or two. There are plenty out there, so arm yourself as a leader. Most of the job description really involves resolving conflicts and problems.
• Learn negotiation techniques: There is a lot out there on this topic, and it is outside of today’s scope, but learning how to negotiate goes a long way to resolving conflicts – before, during and after they start. If you are a leader today or aspire to be one, take the time to learn the art of negotiations. It will serve you well. 

Okay, maybe you are in the middle of it and cannot read the book right now. What can you do as a leader?

Here is a step-by-step you can use as a leader to resolve and de-escalate a situation:

• Check out the policies: Start with the organisation’s policies, processes and procedures. Most workplaces have seen this before, which will not be new to them. If these do not exist, perhaps this is the time to create them.
• Stay calm and neutral: Work on maintaining your composure and neutral stance. Avoid taking sides or showing favouritism. It erodes trust and can add to the conflict.
• Set ground rules:  These can be anything from insisting on respectful communication without interruptions or derogatory remarks to ensuring equal speaking time for all parties. Also, parties must focus on the issue rather than personal attacks. Even if the issue is a values clash, for example, there is a way to ensure people communicate about that aspect of the conflict rather than making it a character flaw. No need to erode someone’s identity because the parties do not see eye to eye.
• Practice active listening: Listen first to each party and allow them to express their perspectives without interrupting. Show empathy if appropriate. Ask direct and clarifying questions, ensure you understand the issue thoroughly and help all parties articulate their concerns. Coaching them to identify the type of conflict (task, process, personal) will also be helpful.
• Acknowledge emotions: This is a big one. Many leaders want to shy away from emotions. Some cannot handle the results of emotions (tears are one example). I get it. But please do not pass this one. Acknowledge the emotions of those involved. This helps defuse heightened emotions and can sometimes resolve the issue. Sometimes, people want to vent their emotions and be listened to. And that resolves the issue.
• Redirect negative behaviour: One mistake I see managers and leaders make is not understanding that they are in charge of the conflict resolution meeting. So calmly address any hostile or aggressive behaviour. Remind parties of the need for respect and constructive dialogue, and model positive behaviour yourself. This is your resolution meeting, so manage it well.
• Work through immediate solutions: Nothing is worse than stewing over conflicts. For effective conflict resolution, identify and implement immediate, short-term solutions to de-escalate the conflict and buy time for a more comprehensive resolution. Use negotiation techniques and encourage parties to make small concessions to reach a temporary agreement. If emotions are too high and the conflict escalates, suggest taking a short break before resuming the discussion. Use the break to gather your thoughts and approach the situation with a fresh perspective. This approach also gives all parties a chance to pause.
• Summarise and agree on the next steps: Once the discussion and agreement have been reached, summarise the key points raised and any agreements reached. Make sure all parties agree on concrete steps that each party will take to resolve the conflict and prevent it from reoccurring. Explain the grievance process (if your organisation has one) or the next steps if they feel the issue has not been resolved. Offer them the Employee Assistance Program if they have residual emotions to process. However, I would say to ensure no one leaves the meeting without summarising and all parties agree on the next steps.
• Make sure you follow up: I know there is a big tendency to think, okay, great resolved. Done. But as a leader, resist the temptation. Ensure that after the initial resolution, you check in with the involved parties to ensure the conflict has been resolved and no further issues have arisen. And make sure you monitor the situation. Keep an eye on the dynamics between the parties to ensure the conflict does not resurface or to help you identify if there is a bigger issue.
• Get support for yourself: Resolving conflict and leading the process can be tiring (depending on your experience and the nature of the conflict). Take the time to process your own emotions afterwards. Take a break. Download with a trusted colleague or your manager. Ensure you can see the outcome as a great learning opportunity for yourself and your team members. Read “What can conflict teach us about ourselves” for further development.
• Repeat the process until the conflict is resolved. 

Side Bar: If you have tried the above process several times and the conflict is not resolved, then you might want to explore Mediation. Bring someone else who is not personally involved in the issue. It could be another leader in the organisation, human resources or anyone else in your organisation who is trained in conflict resolution would be useful. As long as the third party is impartial about the actual issue and can guide the resolution process, this is quite an effective way to resolve conflicts.

I think it is incumbent on leaders to effectively manage workplace conflicts, ensuring they are addressed constructively and do not escalate further.

Yes, conflict in the workplace is unavoidable, but it does not have to be detrimental. As leaders, we must understand this concept and resolve issues proactively.

There is nothing wrong with asking your team members how they want to handle conflict upfront and ensuring you and they understand the process for addressing it.

Remember, the goal is not to eliminate conflict entirely but to manage it in a way that benefits individuals and the organisation as a whole. With the right approach, conflict can bring positive change, helping leaders, teams and organisations. So, the next time you encounter a conflict at work, view it as a chance to strengthen relationships, improve processes, and create a more harmonious and productive work environment. And learn a new skill or two as a leader.

And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.

Until next time.