How not to bee busy

Ah, the busy person. We love them. Society loves them. We love ourselves for being busy. In today’s world, being busy is often worn as a badge of honour. The more packed our schedule, the more successful we must be, right? Not necessarily. While being busy might make one feel productive, it is not always synonymous with being effective or fulfilled. The truth is constant busyness can lead to burnout, stress, and a diminished quality of life. I should know. As someone who experienced the “busy bee syndrome”, I know first-hand what it means. One human resources leader I knew was famous for saying, “The fish cannot see the water they swim in”. And so it is for the busy person. We cannot always see what it says (and does) to us when we are “always busy”.

So, assuming you are fed up with always being busy, how does one break free from the cycle of perpetual busyness? I thought I would share some practical strategies to help break the habit. 

Before diving into solutions, it is important to understand why we fall into the busy trap. The busyness epidemic stems from several societal and psychological factors that I see:

Societal pressures: We live in a culture that equates busyness with success. Social media exacerbates this by showcasing only the highlights of people’s lives – the fun reels – creating an illusion that everyone is always on the go and achieving great things. Sure, people might be doing well and creating amazing things in their lives – but we do not see what is behind the screen. We are only seeing the fun reels and not the hard work (if there is any). Social media (including professional sites like LinkedIn) amplify whatever shortcomings we believe we have in ourselves and our lives, and then the comparison kicks in. The pressure to keep up can drive us to overload our lives and our schedules.

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): FOMO is another aspect that can lead us to take on more than we can handle. We do not want to miss out on opportunities, be they social events, career advancements, or personal achievements. This fear can push us to say yes to everything, leaving little room for rest and reflection. For downtime and the simple art of doing nothing with those we profess to care about – ourselves included. 

Poor time management: Even the simplest tasks can consume an entire day without proper time management. Procrastination, lack of prioritisation, and inefficiency are common culprits that make us feel busier than we actually are. A caveat on this. Time management issues only apply when you have “manageable” workloads and suffer from an inefficiency deficit rather than being overworked and short-staffed. If the latter is the case, you have a management issue in your workplace, not a “time” management issue.

Emotional avoidance: Sometimes, we stay busy to avoid confronting uncomfortable emotions or situations. By filling our time with activities, we distract ourselves from issues that need our attention, such as relationship problems, career dissatisfaction, or personal insecurities. And for many of us, this can be a workable strategy in the short term. However, in the medium to long term, it only ends in tears, so best to avoid this for too long.

You will have your reasons for the busyness, so if none of the above resonate, meditate and ask yourself the following questions:

 What is it that I am working to avoid? And what can I do about it?

What is it that I fear the most [that busyness is masking]? And how would I mitigate that?

Who would I be if I did not identify as a busy person? What would label would fit better?

So, what are some strategies to break out of the cycle of busyness? Here are some things I have learned along the way. 

Stop saying it:  If the first answer out of your mouth when someone asks you, “How are you?” is “Good, soooo busy”, then please stop. So many better answers can still convey that you have a few things on without using “busy”. “Great, have a few projects that are taking a lot of my attention”. “Great, working on some exciting deals that are challenging me”. “Okay. A few things happening at home that I am focused on right now”. Right away, reframing the answer gives your brain a different message, let alone the person you are responding to. It tells both that you are working on sound, interesting, important things and not just “busy” because, you know, life is buffeting you around.

Okay, now that is out of the way, here are the strategies:

Prioritise effectively:  This is so critical. I do not know where else to start but from here. The key to reducing busyness is prioritisation. Not all tasks are created equal, and some are far more critical than others. There are many tools, and one practical tool is the Eisenhower Matrix.

At this stage in my life and career, I have boiled it down to one question: is this the best use of my time and energy? If the answer is no to either of those, I reevaluate and come clean on why I am doing the task. Whichever method works for you, make sure you focus on what truly matters and are transparent on WHY you are doing the task. And yes, it could be a simple as “My manager wants me to do it!”.

Learn to Say No: I have written about this before. Saying no is a powerful skill that can help you maintain a balanced schedule. While it can be challenging, especially if one is a people-pleaser, saying no is crucial for our well-being and productivity. Be assertive but polite when declining requests. You do not need to provide lengthy explanations; a simple “I cannot take this on right now” suffices.

Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for yourself and communicate them to others. A lot of people think boundaries are about other people. They are not. They are about knowing what works for us and what does not and then communicating those to others. 

In the work context, this might mean setting specific times when you are available for meetings or declining projects that do not align with your goals. Always be negotiating for your time and energy. Do not let others take them (and you) for granted. And this starts with you not taking your time and energy for granted.

Delegate and outsource: This is my favourite whenever I can use it. We do not have to do everything ourselves. Delegating tasks to others can free up time and allow you to focus on high-priority activities. Delegation can be applied anywhere in your life, not just at work.

Sometimes, we think it will take longer to explain than just doing the task, but not doing so only adds more work to our plate and, in the long term, does not help us. Outsourcing also does not mean you have to spend money. It just means looking at all the available resources and using them effectively.

Focus on single-tasking: The book Deep Work, by Carl Newport, goes into a ton of research on this topic and is a good book to read if you are a chronic multitasker (here’s a short video for those short on time). It is a mindset, and I understand how hard it is to break the hold it has on us. While there is no such thing as multitasking in the true sense, we have been conditioned in our overscheduled lives to think that multitasking is efficient, but it isn’t. It often leads to decreased productivity and increased stress. Single-tasking, or focusing on one task at a time, can improve efficiency and work quality.

Use time blocks: I live in my calendar and have since the day I started working. So, use your calendar efficiently. Allocate specific time blocks for different tasks throughout your day. For example, dedicate one hour to emails, two hours to a project, etc. Time blocking helps you stay focused and reduces the temptation to switch between tasks (see above). Schedule downtime for yourself and block times that you can consistently stick to dedicated to family or hobbies you care about.

Journaling: I love journalling, but I am not obsessive about it. I use it to get stuff out of my head and on paper, and it helps me to process what might be going on for me that busyness is distracting me from. So, consider keeping a journal to document your thoughts, achievements, and areas for improvement. Journaling can provide insights into your habits and help you develop better strategies for managing your time and priorities. And over time, provide insight into what might be going on for you that busy work is distracting you from.

Seek support: If something is happening for you that is being masked by the busy bee syndrome, you might want to consider getting help. A therapist, a coach or using the employee assistance program that your company pays for might be helpful. Talk it out with loved ones, your manager or boss (but only when you have changes you want to make and have a plan already) and others facing the same challenge. Trust me, if you are feeling and experiencing it, others in your organisation or workgroup will also be. And if they are not experiencing it (and they are being honest about it), then that data is valuable. It tells you something is going on just for you.

Embrace imperfection: This can be a tough one for many of us. We so want to do things “right”. At work, at home, with our health, for our children, partner, etc.  Very understandable. However, it is not achievable. Accepting that not everything will go perfectly or be perfect is quite freeing. Embracing imperfection reduces stress and allows you to focus on progress rather than perfection. It allows you to focus on moving forward and achieving incremental progress. 

Breaking free from the cycle of busyness requires a conscious effort. It takes work to be focused. Many strategies I shared, such as prioritising, setting boundaries, and time blocking, are effective. If this is something that is bothering you, implementing these strategies can help you find balance, reduce stress, and improve your overall well-being. Always remember that being busy does not equate to being productive or successful. It is about working smarter and making time for the things that matter to you. We are meant for much more than being “busy”, overworked and stressed worker bees.   So, take a step back, evaluate your current habits, and start making changes today to avoid the busy bee trap.

And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.

Until next time.