Help! I am younger than the people I lead

We live in interesting and complex times. No time in the past short history of work has so many generations been at it together. Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials, and now Generation Z.  All are in the workforce in one form or another. It’s an experiment that was not necessarily designed, and much of it is from necessity. There are not enough people for our open jobs, and we are living longer and, therefore, for many of us, working longer too. So it’s an exciting time to be a leader and a manager.

A question that comes up in this work dynamic is:  I am a young manager (by this, they mean age and experience) managing or leading a group of individuals older (by this, they mean age and experience) than me. So how do I go about it?

It is a complex question, and no one answer will fit everyone. On reflecting on this question, I realised that since the beginning of my management journey, I had led teams with older individuals than myself. It wasn’t always smooth sailing for them or myself (I think I am self-aware enough to realise this), but for the most part, and in the longer run, age never seemed to matter. Mutual respect, healthy perspectives, aligned mission, and open communication mattered much more.

So, here’s my take on how to go about it if you are a young leader with a mix of generations in your team but more concerned about leading an older cohort than yourself.

Start with yourself first. Ask yourself what beliefs you have about “older people”. Here are some areas to consider:

What are your family of origin beliefs?

Perhaps your family had quite a strict view on how you talk to the elders in your family. From being seen and not heard to never questioning the instructions of people older than you. Our family taught us something about treating people older than us, which we inevitably bring into our work environments. How were older folks in your family treated, and what words did you hear about older people that might have shaped your views today? And while we are here, what words were used to describe younger people in the family? Were young people seen as capable and able or lacking and insufficient without copious amounts of experience and years?

What are your views about age?

Do you see getting older as a positive, affirming passage where experience transforms into wisdom and learnings or something to be afraid of, ignore and shun? How do you view younger people? Do you feel they are frivolous or super-focused? How do you generally view age? And why does age matter to you?

Is it cultural?

Many cultures revere their elders, and it can be seen as disrespectful to question someone older or more experienced than you. Or it could be the opposite. Perhaps you live in a culture where being older and more experienced is seen as old-fashioned, stuck in the past, or coasting on the experience and grandeur of better days. 

Culture can also apply to the organisation you are operating in. For example, are there “older” folks in your organisation? In what positions? How are they treated? What about “younger” folks? Are they in positions of power and decision-making? How are they treated? What words are used to describe them?


What about the team?

Once you have gotten a better view of your beliefs and the environment that might have shaped your views, I would suggest asking what might be going on for the people you lead who might be older than you both in age and experience. Guaranteed, they will have their views about being older and the benefits of tenure, experience, and position. Perhaps they feel they earned the right to be in a senior position now occupied by a “younger” perhaps even less experienced person. While we cannot control other people’s views, it helps us to understand our teams better if we also understand where they might be coming from. What might be the story that they tell themselves about the younger generation?

get to know your people and let them get to know you

Don’t let fear stand in the way of a great conversation. Discuss what you want from the role, the team and each other. Ask them what they need from you, their role, the team, and each other to succeed. Make age and experience a mutually beneficial thing for everyone – not an artificial divide that is made up so that power games in the organisation may continue.

Find a common goal

Lastly, are you aligned with each other? Do you have goals you are all working towards individually or collectively? When people are focused on the mission, purpose, and goals, they seem much less focused on age and tenure and more focused on outcomes and deliverables. Therefore, who possesses what competency and ability to help achieve the mission becomes a more crucial driving force than age, tenure or position.  

Final thoughts

In an ideal work environment, age would not matter. And in many organisations, and for many managers and teams, it probably doesn’t. 

But for those where it seems to matter somehow, I say when we treat each other with respect for the knowledge and strengths we individually and collectively bring to the workforce, much of the differences will be erased. When we can treat each other as human beings and not be defined by our position, age, gender, ethnic background, or some other made-up difference to keep us at odds, that will become the ideal workplace.

So get to know yourself first and then your team, and find a common language that unites you in purpose and outcomes.

And remember, getting older is a privilege many people don’t reach. If you are lucky to reach it, be grateful, remembering that we are all heading towards it. The young of today will BE the older generation of tomorrow. How would you want to be treated then?

As always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.

Until next time.

P.S. Thanks to S.R. for inspiring this blog post.

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