Ok, I thought with the end of March, I would be moving on from Boundaries…but nope. We aren’t. Because if my conversations over the past few weeks are any indication, boundaries are sticking around in the first week of April as well! But we will move on, I promise.
The reason they are sticking around is that it turns out that setting them is hard for many people.
And do you know what is even harder? Getting past the excuses we tell ourselves about why we can’t set them in the first place.
I have heard them all and maybe used one or two myself! You have probably said (or thought) some of them too. So, this week, I am tackling some of the objections leaders use as they struggle to set boundaries—and why most of these fears are unfounded.
Objection #1: “I can’t set boundaries because my boss/chair/board expects me to be available 24/7”
Ah yes, the classic “my boss will think I am not committed” panic. Look, unless you have signed up for a 24-hour call center role (in which case, ignore this section), no one can be available all the time. If your boss has come to expect it, it is probably because you have trained them to.
Reality check: Leaders who protect their time are usually seen as more competent, not less. Try this: Start by defining what “urgent” really means, communicate it clearly, and then—brace yourself—actually stick to it. If everything is urgent, then nothing is. And trust me, your boss will respect you more for it. It is time to train them right back.
Objection #2: “If I set boundaries, my team will think I am disengaged”
The “but I am a servant leader!” argument. I have been there! The thing is, being available 24/7 does not make you a better leader—it makes you an exhausted one.
Reality check: Your team does not need (or want) a leader who is constantly stretched too thin to think clearly. They need someone who is present, strategic, and able to make good decisions. Try this: Instead of jumping in to solve everything, redirect questions with “What do you think?” or “What have you thought already?” and use these moments for authentic coaching. You will see your team step up. You will be amazed at how much they can handle when given the space to thrive.
Objection #3: “Clients won’t respect my boundaries”
This one I know, because many of us came through the era of the customer always being right. It is the “but the client is always right!” fear. We all know some clients will test boundaries, but more often than not, we are the ones allowing them to do so.
Reality check: Clients take cues from you. If you are available at midnight, they will expect responses at midnight (and maybe that is your business model – cool). But if it is not, then if you establish clear working hours and stick to them, they will adjust. Try this: Instead of apologising for boundaries (“Sorry, I can’t take this call at 9 PM”), frame it as a standard (“I am happy to discuss this first thing tomorrow”). Confidence is contagious. And hey, you are not their night owl. Know what works for you and stick to it.
Objection #4: “If I say no, people will stop asking me”
This is an interesting one because… isn’t that kind of the point?
Reality check: If you are constantly saying yes, people will keep coming to you for everything, not just the things that truly require your involvement. Try this: Instead of an outright no, practice saying “I do not have the bandwidth for that, but here is what I can do…” or “I would love to help, but I need to prioritise X right now.” Or check out The Power of No if, you know, you do have to say NO.
People will respect your decision—and if they don’t? Well, now you have a boundary to reinforce. And people to reevaluate.
Objection #5: “I tried setting boundaries once, and it didn’t work”
The one-and-done expectation. Boundaries are not like putting up an “Out of Office” message—they require ongoing reinforcement. Your active participation is required. The game cannot be played without you, my friend.
Reality check: People will test your boundaries, either intentionally or out of habit. The key is consistency. Try this: If someone keeps pushing your limits, repeat your boundary like a broken record. “I won’t be available after 6 PM.” “As I mentioned, I am not available after 6 PM.” “Great question—let’s discuss that tomorrow morning.” Rinse and repeat. Do NOT back down—boundaries need to be as firm as your Monday morning coffee routine.
Caveat: If there is an emergency or someone is in distress, of course, don’t be that person and take the call or offer help if you are able. This is not the time for toxic boundaries! We all need to stay human in the process.
Boundaries are a leadership skill, not a luxury
The truth, as I see it, is that setting boundaries is not about being difficult or uncooperative. It is about being effective. If you are constantly drained, reactive, and overwhelmed, you are not leading—you are surviving. And I do not of any leader who wants to “survive”. Well, politicians aside 😉
So, as we move into April, have a think about which of these objections you catch yourself using and have a think about what one small step you can take this week to push past it.
Let me know what resonates—I would love to hear your thoughts!
And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.
Until next time.
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