I received numerous private messages in response to last week’s blog post regarding goal setting, with a prevailing question and theme: What if I’m not clear on my goals? The Wheel of Life doesn’t quite work for me, and I can’t see the forest from the trees. So now what?
Sometimes, not being clear on goals can happen due to several factors. You may find yourself in a life stage where the progression isn’t straightforward. For instance, many of us were brought up at a time when decisions and goals adhered to a linear path. We followed a sequence of events: education, possibly university, securing a job, entering relationships, possibly marriage, and maybe eventually starting a family. Generally, goals and objectives appeared to align linearly, following a defined sequence and endpoint. If we also worked in a private sector structure, this process would be even more linear with a clear-cut structure on goal setting to obtain outcomes and deliver results.
The world no longer adheres to such a linear structure (if it ever indeed did). Consequently, many of us grapple with redefining and readjusting our goals, especially when uncertainty clouds our direction. This process, undoubtedly challenging, is not impossible.
Surprisingly, despite its discomfort for many, this scenario presents a chance for deep self-reflection and a thorough exploration. It’s not for everyone, so I offer some ideas below on approaching this situation to help you set clear and meaningful goals even when uncertain about your path. I have had to explore these areas myself as I navigated changes in my career and life.
Reflect on your values
Start by reflecting on your core values – the principles and beliefs that guide your life. What matters most to you is critical on the road to clarity. Identifying your values can give you a sense of purpose and help you set goals that align with what’s truly important to you. If you want help on where to start, here’s a previous post on Values you might find helpful.
Embrace Exploration
If you’re unsure about your direction, consider this an exploration period. Permit yourself to try new things, learn different skills, and expose yourself to various experiences. This can help you discover new interests and passions. Just giving yourself this permission frees you to tap into the play part of yourself and allows you to explore areas you might not have considered before.
The only caution I would offer here is to give yourself a deadline for how long you will explore. While exploration and curiosity will hopefully always be present for you, we must give ourselves a deadline. Otherwise, we will continue to explore and play and not do any of the work needed to move us forward. How long the timeframe is up to you and your appetite.
Focus on the Present
Instead of fixating on a long-term destination, which many of us do (this is where we start with the end in mind and work backwards, which is a valid process but not helpful if we are not clear on the destination!), focus on what you can do in the present. Set smaller, short-term, achievable goals aligned with your interests and where you are now. These goals can help to provide a sense of direction while allowing room for flexibility.
Define “Success” for Yourself
This was the hardest lesson and one I spent the most time on. We must redefine what success looks like for us, especially for the in-between stages. Think about what success means to you personally, not based on external expectations. Does it involve personal growth, relationships, financial stability, or a combination of factors? Defining success on your terms can help guide your goal-setting process.
It is not about ignoring those who matter in your life but ensuring you have a strong sense of what success looks like to you first and then sharing that definition with a significant other or a business partner. In that case, you will find that any areas of difference will make a great place to start a conversation about expectations and the different definitions of success. Or show you alignment and a shared direction. Either way, don’t skip defining what success looks like for you from where you are today. Not being clear on the definition of success is a significant obstacle to achieving goals.
Experiment with Different Paths
I started doing this with the portfolio career approach. And like a financial portfolio, some stocks will work out, and some won’t. The same goes for a career portfolio; some paths will lead to great opportunities and fulfilment, and some won’t. It’s all part of growth. So, set goals related to exploring different paths. This could involve taking short courses, attending workshops, volunteering, or networking with people from various fields. These experiences can help you gain clarity about your interests and what lights you up, creates energy for you, and, in turn, help you define goals for the longer term.
Stay Open-Minded
Be open to change and uncertainty. Understand that it’s okay not to have everything figured out right away and to not feel immediately clear on your goals. As you explore different avenues, you might uncover new passions that guide your future goals. You might have heard the saying, “We need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable”. This stems from being open-minded and flexible to the possibility of not knowing the answer. This is a hard one, I know. Especially if, like me, you have come from a background where solving problems and knowing the answer is clear-cut. Learning to unlearn and stay open-minded to the possibility is a skill that will pay you back many times over.
Seek Guidance and Support
No one is an island, and we cannot do many things alone. So, reach out to mentors, coaches, or friends who can offer guidance and support during this uncertain period. Their insights and perspectives might help you gain clarity or consider options you hadn’t considered. I genuinely believe that if we stay open-minded and open to the possibilities, we are one connection away from finding the answer that can unlock things for us.
Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself during this process. It’s okay to be uncertain, and it’s okay to take time to explore your path. Avoid comparing yourself to others’ journeys, as everyone’s path is unique. As someone wise once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. We know that we only see the top of the iceberg of someone’s life, professional or otherwise, and perhaps the end of a process – when they are on stage or winning an award! We don’t know their story or the process they had to go through. It’s best to focus on your journey and what you are doing and learning. And be kind to you.
Reevaluate Regularly
As you explore different paths and gain new experiences, take time to reevaluate your goals regularly. What feels right right now might change over time, and that’s okay. Remember that what got you here might also not be what gets you to the next stage. It’s all about growing and adapting. Being flexible is critical. Reevaluating often allows you to adjust, adapt and regroup for the following action and goal.
Final thoughts
The above are areas that I have learned about navigating towards clarity. I have also learned that setting clear goals doesn’t always have to mean having a specific destination. It can also be about setting intentions to explore, learn, and grow. The journey can lead you to unexpected and fulfilling places and help you clarify your goals. Remember that amid uncertainty, setting goals takes on a different meaning. It becomes less about having a predetermined destination and more about embarking on self-discovery and exploration.
Embrace this period as an opportunity to connect with your values, experiment with new paths, and uncover hidden passions and purposes. By focusing on the present, staying open-minded, and asking for help, you’re not just setting goals – you are crafting a unique narrative of growth and self-realisation. It’s okay to be uncertain; the path you forge now might lead to destinations you never knew existed. So, take a step forward, guided by your curiosity, and allow the unfurling to occur.
As always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.
Until next time.
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