Have you ever sat through a training course, listening intently, only to find that one thing truly resonated? That one line—seemingly offhand yet profound—can reshape your approach in ways you did not expect.
I have been there. A few years back, during yet another sales methodology course (I have lost count of how many over the years), the instructor said something that has stuck with me ever since: “It will be a case of ‘I know what I am seeing, but I don’t know why I am seeing it.’”
That single phrase did more for me than the entire two-day workshop. It became a framework I now apply in countless ways—from conversations with teenagers to managing emotional outbursts (with team members, not teenagers!) and even myself. This little gem has saved me countless times from rushing to conclusions or attributing my interpretations to situations before fully understanding what is happening.
In leadership, where decisions can have sweeping impacts, the value of understanding before acting cannot be overstated. Here are some lessons from the “I know what I am seeing, but I don’t know why I’m seeing it” mindset that I have gained and that every leader can benefit from:
The power of pausing and observing
We live in a fast-paced world that demands faster decisions, especially from leaders. Adopting this mindset encourages a pause. When something seems unclear or amiss, resist the urge to act immediately.
Observing without judgment allows you to see the whole picture, especially in complex (and human!) situations. Instead of assuming you know why something is happening, take time to gather more information.
Using this phrase acts like a brain interrupt. Just thinking it is the pause.
Whether it is a team issue, a client’s behaviour, or even personal feedback, pausing for observation creates space for genuine understanding. Often, acting too quickly risks misunderstanding the motives or circumstances behind what we see.
Curiosity as a leadership strength
Leaders who operate with curiosity—who stay open to understanding the “why” rather than imposing their assumptions—create more inclusive, trusting environments.
Using this approach means asking questions, seeking others’ perspectives, and staying in “learning mode.”
It is easy to see a team member struggling and assume it is a motivation issue, but getting curious might reveal other factors like burnout or personal pressures. Curiosity allows you to lead with empathy, making you more approachable and strengthening your team’s confidence in your leadership.
Avoiding the trap of assumptions
Our brains are wired for quick conclusions—not sure our ancestors would have survived without this! But in today’s workplaces, we often make assumptions about others’ behaviour and jump to conclusions.
Perhaps we think a team member’s quietness in a meeting signals disinterest or that a client’s delayed response indicates dissatisfaction.
The “I know what I am seeing, but I don’t know why I am seeing it” mindset reminds us to check our assumptions. Acting on interpretations rather than facts risks misunderstandings, and unchecked assumptions can damage relationships.
Staying curious encourages us to seek real answers instead of jumping to conclusions.
The value of emotional intelligence in decision-making
Embracing “I know what I am seeing, but I don’t know why” helps leaders further develop emotional intelligence, a crucial skill.
How? Well, by recognising your initial reactions but choosing not to act on them immediately fosters more thoughtful, balanced decisions.
This phrase is especially helpful when emotions are high, whether yours or others. It helps you recognise when you might be projecting feelings onto a situation, which can distort interpretation. Leaders who separate initial emotional responses from decision-making are more trusted, as their actions feel balanced and fair.
Now, I am not saying to suppress all emotion and not be “human”. I have lost my cool on occasion, too, but the times I have paused and thought about this phrase have “saved” me far more often than those occasional slips.
Learning from every source and every situation
This experience from long ago attending the training and others I have had underscores a broader lesson: staying open to learning from anyone, anywhere.
Leaders do not have to rely solely on formal sources or “big” moments for growth. Sometimes, it is those casual, almost forgettable remarks in ordinary settings that hold transformative power. And a great reminder of the power of words.
We can find insights from everyone around us—an instructor, a team member, someone outside our industry, on LinkedIn, and our children. For leaders, maintaining this openness to learning keeps them adaptive, agile, and always growing.
So, what’s the big takeaway?
This idea, “I know what I am seeing, but I don’t know why I am seeing it”, is more than just a clever phrase (although I do think it is!). It is a framework for thoughtful leadership. It asks us to slow down, seek true understanding before taking action, and cultivate a spirit of inquiry in high-stakes interactions. The best leaders know that while decisiveness is essential, so is discernment. By grounding ourselves in curiosity, observation, and patience, we improve our decision-making and the culture of respect and trust around us.
Thank you to that insightful instructor (I won’t out her without permission) who planted this seed years ago. The sales methodology may have faded, but this one idea has truly made a lasting impact on my leadership approach. And it is a reminder that sometimes, the most enduring lessons come from unexpected sources—if we are open to receiving them.
What is one enduring lesson you learned from someone else that has stuck with you? Please share.
And as always, if you invest in yourself, the rewards will be unfathomable.
Until next time.
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